- Never fight an inanimate object.
- P. J. O'Rourke on Funny
- Never floss with a stranger.
- Joan Rivers on Funny
- Never have more children than you have car windows.
- Erma Bombeck on Funny
- Never put a sock in a toaster.
- Eddie Izzard on Funny
- Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
- Robert Orben on Funny
- Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.
- Arthur Smith on Funny
- No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.
- Ellen DeGeneres on Funny
- No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was.
- Annie Leibovitz on Funny
- No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12.
- Rowan Atkinson on Funny
- No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'
- Trey Parker on Funny
- Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken on Funny
- Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.
- Drew Carey on Funny
- Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been used to it for years, so it's no problem. And there's nothing I can't do.
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