Famous Quotes

"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."

Robert Orben on Funny

More quotes about Funny

• "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

  Lana Turner on Funny

• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

  Ron White on Funny

• "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

  Bill Cosby on Funny

• "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

  Jim Carrey on Funny

• "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

  Elbert Hubbard on Funny

More quotes by Robert Orben

• "I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."

• "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

• "To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."

• "Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success."

• "Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."