Big Brother given the silent treatment

In protest at Big Brother's decision to fail them in their most recent task the housemates have decided to go on a silent protest.

17:37 08 July 2004

In protest at Big Brother's decision to fail them in their most recent task the housemates have decided to go on a silent protest.

In a move that Kitten (who?) would have been proud of, the contestants united against their oppressor and have not said a word all day.

Stuart yesterday warned Big Brother about the intended industrial action.

Shortly after nine this morning the long-haired student visited each housemate in turn and gesticulated at them until they remembered that they were not allowed to speak.

But Big Brother was not going to take this lying down and banned the quiet ones from the bedroom and the spa.

As the silence continued sounds of a screaming baby overlaid with car horns and road works were played into the house at random intervals. Big Brother has also decided that he too can offer a cold shoulder.

Victor, evidently feeling the strain of keeping schtum, popped into the Diary Room for a chat - but was met with a wall of silence.

"Hello, Hello? Hello!" he screamed, before storming out.

However, the non-violent direct action was only going to last so long, the question was, who would crack first?

In an astonishing move Ahmed, the quietest contestant, lost it.

With the din of beeping horns and screaming brats getting too much for him he calmly wandered into the garden, picked up the spade and walked up to Maureen.

The plaster he-she looked on passively as Ahmed counted down from ten to one on his fingers waiting for the din to end. It did not and Maureen reaped his wrath. In a flurry of brutal blows the Somali-born law graduate severed the model's head.

He then repeatedly jumped on the statue, before counting to ten again, raising the severed head to a camera and casually strolling back into the garden.