Roundup of all the week's soap news

Sunita is struck down with a brain tumour; Zoe is still coming to terms with her failed adoption; and Garry is struggling to cope without Lynn.

07:05 24 July 2004

Corrie

Mad Maya's suspicions over her corner-shop lover's infidelity went stratospheric this week as she suspected her dear Dev of cheating with check-out supremo Sunita. Little did she know that the poor girl had just been diagnosed with a tumour when she stormed into her love rival's flat to catch her fiddling fianc snuggling up to Sunita as she popped her potent head pills. Shocker.

Seething, the psycho obsessive accused the 'dirty' duo of cheating and vowed revenge. Unsurprisingly, she felt extremely silly when the truth was revealed - that poor Sunita could indeed pop her clogs at short notice - and cried like a baby to cover her embarrassment. Unsatisfied, the thoughtful, sensitive soul thought it time to rid her relationship of 'that' interfering shelf-stacker and enlisted the caring sharing Ciaran to relieve Dev of his duties as number one confidante, much to the chagrin of the poor, deserted mini-mart maestro. She's all heart.

Moaning mum-from-hell Sally continued to irritate all around her as she began the week by removing her bratty, scatty daughter 'Rawzie' out of Weatherfield Comp. I think she's ignoring the mantra: education, education, education.

She proceeded to continue her wrecking ball spree by losing the minicabs' account with hubby Kev's garage. The grease-monkey was obviously aggrieved and was forced to rectify the situation by sucking up to sleazy Steve and damned Dev. Never mind sunny Sunita, strike sickly Sally down instead.

Dodgy Danny's son Jamie turned up in Weatherfield with a fanfare later this week as he found himself on the wrong side of the law, accused of assaulting his cockney dad's vicious love-rival Vinny. The nasty, mean man agreed to drop the charges in exchange for one night with old flame Frankie. I hear echoes of Enders.

Emmers

Resident lesbian and ex-mental patient Zoe has been left reeling following the collapse of her proposed adoption of baby Christopher. Surprisingly surprised about the decision (well, look at her track record - copious amounts of men, women, babies, church fires, brushes with asylums, air crashes, suicidal brothers, liaisons with her sister-in-law... need I go on?), she planned to do a runner with her two babies until her toyboy ex-lover Scott (sorry, forgot to mention that one) prevented her from fleeing.

Originally fearful of losing her millionaire fianc over the baby, ex-prostitute and murder suspect Charity refused to take responsibility for her dear son. But, on discovering her ageing lover's acceptance of this unconventional domesticity, caring, sharing Charity took the wee bub in. Not much chance for that child then.
As not-too-maternal Charity struggled to cope with life as a mother (this is her second time round as well) sultry temptress Sadie revelled in delight at her nemesis' plight. There's a lot to be said for foster care these days. Do everyone a favour and call social services.

Village hussy and kinky kitten Katie turned up on agricultural Andy's doorstep to discuss financial matters and their impending divorce. Randy Robert spotted her and begged her to stay. The cheating twosome vowed to work it out, much to the disgust of dizzy, dire Donna. Young love, eh.

On the day of postman Paul's funeral, calamitous Carl was racked with guilt over his involvement in his death. Doting pop Tom became suspicious over his son's bizarre behaviour and soon the truth was out. There'll be trouble a-t-mill in the morning.

EastEnders

It's been a torrid week for gormless Garry who has found it tough to overcome the loss of wife Lynne to the big bad world that exists outside of Walford. He should be grateful he doesn't have to look at that miserable mutt again.

So, distraught, the moody melancholic mechanic decided to top himself with a car exhaust. Unfortunately, Minty was at hand to save the poor blighter, who reflected on his tragic life through tears, tears and more tears. What a loser. Should be grateful that he's managed to rid himself of the lamentable ladies Laura and Lynne. Honestly. You've never had it so good.

Minty continued his 'do-gooder' ways throughout the week, attempting to warn Sam about the true nature of her fake evil gangster fianc Andy and giving his video shop job to bumbling Billy. Gold star and a Cadbury's cream egg for him.

Poor Dotty Dot struggled with the news of her illness following a visit to the 'osptial to see a specialist, confiding in surrogate son Dennis of her illness. They're dropping like flies these summer days.

Irrelevant Ian continued to make of fool of himself by declaring his feelings to an unimpressed Kate. Well it's him or dirty dirty Den. Tough choice for the busty beautician.

Hollyoaks

Mandy and Tony's relationship disintegrated further this week following a series of rows regarding marriage, pregnancy and dead people. Oh, and Mandy slept with Ben in the male toilets of the pub. She's a high-class girl. The warring pair tussled and the argument climaxed in a violent end as Tony was escorted out by the police. Is this really the end for Chester's golden couple? Oh, the suspense.

Elsewhere, Max and OB went head-to-head with the prospect of donating their sperm to Chloe. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for.