Round-up of all the week's soap news

Todd spills the beans to his mum; Mark is mourned; Jack attacks; and Izzy tries to carry on.

04:05 24 April 2004

Coronation Street

It's been a turbulent week for tumultuous Todd as he continued his battle with his conscience - torn between his darling, pregnant, teen mom girlfriend sulky Sarah and his catty, determined bit-on-the-side Karl, who has been wooing the confused porter for weeks. Sarah began growing suspicious of his weird behaviour and sought advice from mum garish Gail. This is the same Gail whose previous husband was a serial murderer who tried to wipe out the family, and who had two husbands prior to that. And who has, at one time or another, alienated her entire family. Suspect confidante methinks.

Todd decided to spill all to a stunned mum Eileen, who suggested that her son should leave his missus in favour of his promiscuous, home-wrecking lover. Umm. Suspect confidante.

By the end of the week, Todd has decided to stick it out with his girlfriend and the impending bub. Somehow, I predict trouble at 't-mill.

Elsewhere, obsessive, irritating mom screechy Sally has slowly descended into delirium over her daughter 'Rawzie's' future career on stage. She came to blows with reliable mechanic hubby top catch Kev over their child's future. Having embarrassed herself in front of much of the Street with her rants about her daughter's apparent talents (yet to be convinced), she came head-to-head with the little brat, giving her a stern ultimatum: the dance classes or her new squeeze Craig from over 't-road. Tough one.



EastEnders

It's been a sombre week in the Square as the residents paid their respects to their beloved Mark (HE'S NOT DEAD HE'S IN THE BILL). Sorry. Anyway, the Fowlers gave him a good send off, and even Dr Legg was carted out to say au revoir, as Martin bravely brought the congregation to tears with his moving eulogy, and later found out that Mark had left him a letter. Could this prompt a proposal from the fruit and veg supremo?

There's a cat fight in the air as scheming Walford witch and part-time murderess Janine clashed horns with lamentable Laura, having reported her to the authorities for benefit fraud. Just keep away from the edge, Laura, or you'll end up like Barry.

Elsewhere, Kat discovered Shane Ritchie's, sorry I mean Alfie's, debt to Andy and vowed to help her troubled hubby out. On confronting the mean so-called gangster, she was shocked and appalled to receive an indecent proposal that could dispel her financial woes for good. Will she succumb to the bait and return to her old ways? Demi Moore eat your heart out. . .



Emmerdale

It's been an arduous week for our Jack on t'farm as he discovered the true reason for his daughter's continuing silence. She finally broke her mute status by revealing that she saw her brother and sister-in-law having a cheeky snog in the bedroom. No sooner had she uttered these words than she fell back into the habit. That's her acting duties done for another couple of years. She must be breathing a sigh of relief, I'm sure.

There was nothing hiding our Jack's fury as he thumped the pre-pubescent puny mechanic for betraying his own brother. The slobbering, snivelling little runt insisted it was only a one-off (lies, lies, and more lies) and promptly moved back into the farm vowing to stay true to his family, despite his love for the blonde harlot.
Reeling, spurned lover kinky Katie decided to leave drippy agricultural Andy anyway. I wonder what Victoria would have to say about that. Not much probably.

Elsewhere, there was uproar in the village as residents learned that local tyrants the Kings had brought the cricket pitch, intending to build modern houses in its place. Suddenly, the cricket pitch has become a jewel in the community crown, and the villagers vowed to prevent its destruction. The thought of a few more people in the village would surely disrupt the selective gene pool, and we can't have that. Impostors.

Meanwhile Ashley became suspicious of Debbie and Ethan's relationship, deeming it "inappropriate". Umm, coming from the divorced, single-parent vicar who's been slowly making his way through his beloved parishioners? Keep your opinions to yourself, you dirty dog.



Hollyoaks

Izzy remained devastated following her miscarriage, and talk of the forthcoming christening plunged her deeper into personal crisis.

Lisa continued to taunt Ellie for betraying the family, as Les was left reeling after hearing Ellie suggest that Dan was innocent.