"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."
"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
"The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'"
"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."
"The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you."