Famous Quotes

"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere."

Steven Wright on Pet

More quotes about Pet

• "No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."

  Abraham Lincoln on Pet

• "I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

  Winston Churchill on Pet

• "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

  Robert A. Heinlein on Pet

• "Time spent with cats is never wasted."

  Sigmund Freud on Pet

• "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."

  Josh Billings on Pet

More quotes by Steven Wright

• "How young can you die of old age?"

• "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

• "For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."

• "I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."

• "I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."