Famous Quotes

"I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."

Steven Wright on Home

More quotes about Home

• "Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country."

  Margaret Thatcher on Home

• "A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body."

  Benjamin Franklin on Home

• "Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."

  Oliver Wendell Holmes on Home

• "Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."

  Bill Cosby on Home

• "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in."

  Robert Frost on Home

More quotes by Steven Wright

• "How young can you die of old age?"

• "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

• "For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."

• "I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."

• "I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."