Famous Quotes

"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."

Steven Wright on Legal

More quotes about Legal

• "Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery."

  Calvin Coolidge on Legal

• "A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman."

  Robert Frost on Legal

• "Make crime pay. Become a lawyer."

  Will Rogers on Legal

• "Justice in the life and conduct of the State is possible only as first it resides in the hearts and souls of the citizens."

  Plato on Legal

• "People are getting smarter nowadays they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide."

  Will Rogers on Legal

More quotes by Steven Wright

• "How young can you die of old age?"

• "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

• "For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."

• "I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."

• "I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."