"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."
"God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well."
Voltaire on Birthday"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."
Oprah Winfrey on Birthday"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."
Jim Valvano on Birthday"I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity."
Eleanor Roosevelt on Birthday"The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance."
Brian Tracy on Birthday"How young can you die of old age?"
"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
"I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy."