Famous Quotes

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

Steven Wright on Funny

More quotes about Funny

• "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

  Lana Turner on Funny

• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

  Ron White on Funny

• "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

  Bill Cosby on Funny

• "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

  Jim Carrey on Funny

• "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

  Elbert Hubbard on Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

• "How young can you die of old age?"

• "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

• "For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."

• "I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."

• "I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."