Famous Quotes

"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

Rodney Dangerfield on Medical

More quotes about Medical

• "I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."

  Groucho Marx on Medical

• "A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."

  Groucho Marx on Medical

• "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

  Erma Bombeck on Medical

• "They certainly give very strange names to diseases."

  Plato on Medical

• "Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."

  Erma Bombeck on Medical

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

• "I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."

• "With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."

• "With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."

• "My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."

• "I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."