"After I read all the medical journals and watched all the documentaries, I still didn't understand the physical sensation of ticking and where it comes from and what it feels like."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
Groucho Marx on Medical"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
Groucho Marx on Medical"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Erma Bombeck on Medical"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."
Plato on Medical"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
Erma Bombeck on Medical"My friends that are snobs think its cool I did a movie with Albert Brooks."
"A film's success or failure is strictly on the director's shoulders."