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Famous Quotes

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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Rita Rudner on Medical

More quotes about Medical

  • "I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."

    Groucho Marx on Medical

  • "A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."

    Groucho Marx on Medical

  • "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

    Erma Bombeck on Medical

  • "They certainly give very strange names to diseases."

    Plato on Medical

  • "Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."

    Erma Bombeck on Medical

More quotes by Rita Rudner

  • "My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

  • "I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again."

  • "To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"

  • "My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."

  • "When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."

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