"Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also often feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
Eleanor Roosevelt on Women"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."
Marilyn Monroe on Women"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
Friedrich Nietzsche on Women"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."
Ralph Waldo Emerson on Women"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."
John Lennon on Women"Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also often feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day."
"Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make."
"When we root-root-root for the home team, we're rooting for our home as much as the team."
"Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books, I'm consistently impressed with their wit, humor and insight. That goes for about 95 percent of the audience. The other five percent are why the 'Delete' option and restraining orders were invented."
"Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make."