"Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."
"Be thankful for what you have you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
Oprah Winfrey on Thanksgiving"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
Jon Stewart on Thanksgiving"The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest."
William Blake on Thanksgiving"Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse."
Henry Van Dyke on Thanksgiving"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."
Erma Bombeck on Thanksgiving"Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also often feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day."
"Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make."
"When we root-root-root for the home team, we're rooting for our home as much as the team."
"Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books, I'm consistently impressed with their wit, humor and insight. That goes for about 95 percent of the audience. The other five percent are why the 'Delete' option and restraining orders were invented."
"Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make."