"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas."
Calvin Coolidge on Christmas"He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree."
Roy L. Smith on Christmas"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
George Carlin on Christmas"Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store."
Dr. Seuss on Christmas"A good conscience is a continual Christmas."
Benjamin Franklin on Christmas"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."
"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."
"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."