"I wish I had played team sports. I think every kid should. Teamwork builds character - teaches people about leadership and cooperation."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Michael Jordan on Sports"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."
Mark Twain on Sports"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
Mark Twain on Sports"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Hunter S. Thompson on Sports"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."
Henry David Thoreau on Sports"I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way."
"The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't."
"When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny."
"I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way."
"A young imagination is bold, likes to make bigger leaps. It likes to, well, imagine that the dustbuster is a dinosaur that the computer mouse is a hotrod that the box is a cave that the rawhide is a torch... or a baton... or something."