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Famous Quotes

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"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

Mitch Hedberg on Women

More quotes about Women

  • "A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."

    Eleanor Roosevelt on Women

  • "I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."

    Marilyn Monroe on Women

  • "Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."

    Friedrich Nietzsche on Women

  • "The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."

    Ralph Waldo Emerson on Women

  • "As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."

    John Lennon on Women

More quotes by Mitch Hedberg

  • "Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

  • "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

  • "I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

  • "I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

  • "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"

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