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Famous Quotes

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"Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'"

Mitch Hedberg on Time

More quotes about Time

  • "Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present."

    Roger Babson on Time

  • "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."

    Abraham Lincoln on Time

  • "Lost time is never found again."

    Benjamin Franklin on Time

  • "Patience and time do more than strength or passion."

    Jean de La Fontaine on Time

  • "The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."

    C. S. Lewis on Time

More quotes by Mitch Hedberg

  • "Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

  • "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

  • "I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

  • "I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

  • "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"

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