"I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"I believe that the majority of times the scale tilts toward the good. It's this amazing thing that rolls on and if we get in the flow of it, that's God. And if we fight it, if we swim the other way, we're swimming away from the purest expression of this life."
"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for perfection is God's business."
"What other people think about me is not my business."
"I'm a dad, I'm a husband, I'm an activist, I'm a writer and I'm just a student of the world."
"I always felt that I came up short in the education department, but I've come to the conclusion that we all get an education."