"I would like you all to give me a round of applause as I have not crashed my car in over 15 months."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."
Bill Gates on Car"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."
Richard Pryor on Car"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Erma Bombeck on Car"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."
Steven Wright on Car"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Steven Wright on Car"I used to be a real prince charming if I went on a date with a girl. But then I'd get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. I've since learned the key to a good date is to pay attention on her."
"I used to be a real prince charming if I went on a date with a girl. But then I'd get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. I've since learned the key to a good date is to pay attention on her."
"The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple, it's just gone, like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers."