"I'm the most inappropriate dad. I curse in front of my kids and their friends. I let my kids watch R-rated movies. I'll walk by the movie theater and say, 'Let's go see that,' and my kids will say, 'No, it's rated R. It's not appropriate for kids.' I'm like Uncle Dad. We have fun. I don't live with them, but I drive over four days a week."
"It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father."
Pope John XXIII on Dad"When one has not had a good father, one must create one."
Friedrich Nietzsche on Dad"My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture of him."
Eminem on Dad"I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much."
Hedy Lamarr on Dad"Whoever does not have a good father should procure one."
Friedrich Nietzsche on Dad"Let me tell you, Barack Obama is the most down dude in the world, but he's so smart so articulate, such an amazing speaker such a passionate man. He's humble."
"If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong."
"I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue."
"Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who you are."
"Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working."