"Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Michael Jordan on Sports"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."
Mark Twain on Sports"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
Mark Twain on Sports"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Hunter S. Thompson on Sports"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."
Henry David Thoreau on Sports"It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me."
"To me, art supplies are always okay to buy."
"I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out."
"When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'"
"I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work."