"If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood."
"What is more mortifying than to feel that you have missed the plum for want of courage to shake the tree?"
"We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast."
"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading."
"It takes a great man to give sound advice tactfully, but a greater to accept it graciously."