"Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone."
"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it."
"Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder."
"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."