"It's funny that all these goths paint their faces with such white make-up and that is the actual colour of my skin, I am that pale!"
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"Pilates is amazing, my posture is so much better and I'm even starting to get muscles on my tummy - it's incredible."
"Women are so unforgiving of themselves. We don't recognize our own beauty because we're too busy comparing ourselves to other people."
"I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other. And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelt the word 'YOU' and I just put the letter 'U'."
"I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window."
"I feel good in my own skin because I've accepted the fact that I'm me. That's what's so great about being alive and being on this planet: Everybody's different."