"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra on Funny"I tend to stay up late, not because I'm partying but because it's the only time of the day when I'm alone and don't have to be performing."
"My mother was a professional sick person she took a lot of pain pills. There are many people like that. It's just how they are used to getting attention. I always remember she's the daughter of alcoholics who'd leave her alone at Christmas time."
"A lot of good love can happen in ten years."
"Creative people don't behave very well generally. If you're looking for examples of good relationships in show business, you're gonna be depressed real fast. I don't have time for anything else right now but work and my daughter. She's my first priority."
"I think I could go away tomorrow. I've already accomplished something. It's such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself."