"I recently spent quite a bit of time in Sheffield, England, which is where I'm from. I wouldn't move back there, but it's funny when you spend a bit of time in the place where you were brought up. You kind of realize how that place has had quite a big effect on you or made you a certain way."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"You get to a certain age and you just want to prove that you can still rock - that you've still got it."
"I always thought that I might retire from any form of sexuality by the age of 40 and just become a dignified older person."
"Well, once you've resigned yourself to the fact that you are the more mature pop performer and you're past the age you ever thought you would do it, you might as well do it as long as you can. As long as I can still lift a microphone, then I'll do it, you know."
"I speak onstage to try to establish some method of communication. The songs are supposed to be a way of communicating. But speech and drinks and sometimes chocolates are also a way of communicating."
"Unless you're living on the street and surviving on a diet of discarded turkey drumsticks, there's no point in being gloomy. We've spent too long trying to cheer ourselves up by spending money on brightly coloured things we don't really need. We've stopped using our imaginations."