"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Gags die, humor doesn't."
"Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air."