Famous Quotes

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."

George Carlin on Funny

More quotes about Funny

• "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

  Lana Turner on Funny

• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

  Ron White on Funny

• "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

  Bill Cosby on Funny

• "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

  Jim Carrey on Funny

• "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

  Elbert Hubbard on Funny

More quotes by George Carlin

• "If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."

• "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

• "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

• "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."

• "At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."