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Famous Quotes

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"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

Fred Allen on Funny

More quotes about Funny

  • "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

    Lana Turner on Funny

  • "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

    Ron White on Funny

  • "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

    Bill Cosby on Funny

  • "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

    Jim Carrey on Funny

  • "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

    Elbert Hubbard on Funny

More quotes by Fred Allen

  • "We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."

  • "An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."

  • "My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."

  • "Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."

  • "I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."

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