Famous Quotes

"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."

Elayne Boosler on Mom

More quotes about Mom

• "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."

  George Washington on Mom

• "The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children."

  Jessica Lange on Mom

• "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

  Mark Twain on Mom

• "Men are what their mothers made them."

  Ralph Waldo Emerson on Mom

• "My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.' Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso."

  Pablo Picasso on Mom

More quotes by Elayne Boosler

• "I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone."

• "I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'"

• "I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'"

• "I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food."

• "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."