Famous Quotes

"If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half."

Demetri Martin on Time

More quotes about Time

• "Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present."

  Roger Babson on Time

• "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."

  Abraham Lincoln on Time

• "Lost time is never found again."

  Benjamin Franklin on Time

• "Patience and time do more than strength or passion."

  Jean de La Fontaine on Time

• "The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."

  C. S. Lewis on Time

More quotes by Demetri Martin

• "I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'"

• "I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'"

• "I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."

• "People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."

• "I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'"