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"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."

Demetri Martin on Trust

More quotes about Trust

  • "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

    William Shakespeare on Trust

  • "For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth."

    Bo Bennett on Trust

  • "The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."

    Stephen King on Trust

  • "Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks."

    Isaac Watts on Trust

  • "Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement."

    Golda Meir on Trust

More quotes by Demetri Martin

  • "I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'"

  • "I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'"

  • "I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."

  • "People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."

  • "I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'"

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