"When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"I'm at peace with myself and where I am. In the past, I was always looking to see how everybody else was doing. I wasn't competitive, I was comparative. I just wanted to be where everybody else was. Now I've gotten to an age when I am not comparing anymore."
"I think it's hard, the fact that there's a certain age that we can't have kids anymore."
"A lot of my humor does come from anger. It's like, you're not gonna pull one over on me - which is pretty much my motto anyways."
"At one point my dad called me and said, 'You have always been a great salesman. I think it's time you come home and sell swimming pools.'"
"You know, my mother's beautiful, my dad was a really handsome man, and there was a lot of talk about looks when I was growing up."