"It's funny I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"My acting career began at age three and my parents got me into it. I was in a McDonald's commercial."
"Fatherhood is the most amazing thing that could ever have happened in my life."
"I'd say that animal rights and environmental issues have always been at the forefront of my mind."
"It was a great experience for a kid, because it was a bunch of kids playing on pirate ships and water slides, so looking back on it, it was the fondest experience of my childhood."
"I do believe that belief is the most powerful thing we have in this world. So, if we believe in something enough. And we have faith, we can make it a reality. That is basically the basis of my entire career and my entire life."