"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"This is the first age that's ever paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one."
"Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not. In either case the idea is quite staggering."
"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
"Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading manuals without the software."
"This is the first age that's ever paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one."