"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
Lana Turner on Funny"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
Ron White on Funny"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby on Funny"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey on Funny"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard on Funny"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
"Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking."
"Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age."
"Perfection of means and confusion of ends seem to characterize our age."
"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely."