Did they?

Michelle and Stuart have set tongues wagging all over the country on the subject of whether they consummated their relationship last night.

17:57 20 July 2004

Michelle and Stuart have set tongues wagging all over the country on the subject of whether they consummated their relationship last night.

It all began with a big row between the Big Brother lovebirds, but then making up was always the best part of arguing.

When the news of the wedding task was released the majority of Big Brother watchers assumed it would be the Geordie lass and the Macclesfield lad that occupied the role of bride and groom - but Stu kyboshed that plan leading to Michelle's outrage.

This week the remaining contestants have to enact a wedding. This involves the housemates taking on the roles of best man (Dan), father of the bride (Stu), clergyman (Jason), chorister (Michelle), bridesmaid (Nadia) - and, of course, bride (Shell) and groom (Victor).

But who got to play who caused some friction in the house.
"I wanted to be the bride," whinged Michelle.

"Stu, you wouldn't even marry me! I'm not your friend now! I'm NOT your friend," the stroppy Geordie added.

But all was forgotten after the first part of the task, a hen night.

Babycham, food and music got the housemates in the mood for loving - along with a, frankly, rubbish striptease by the male residents of the house.

But as the music played Stu and Michelle made up.

At the end of the evening Michelle - hungry for a student body - fashioned her very own chamber of love.

Using the dining-room table (with overhanging cloth) as a base, she positioned stools around the edge to stop the cameras seeing anything.

"Look, I've made a doorway - come on," she told Stu.

But the long-haired lover was reluctant: "Just let me think about something," he unconvincingly uttered.

Having tasted defeat on the bridal issue, Michelle was not to be dissuaded. She eventually got Stu to enter her lair.

After an hour of gasps, whimpers, toe curls and moans she emerged beaming.

And this morning she could not wait to tell the others about it.

"I'm not allowed to talk about it," she told Shell, adding: "He made me promise."

But then we all remember how long it took her to blab about the bedsit.

So they reverted to "code"

Shell inquired if her "immune system" felt "boosted this morning", Michelle giggled and replied, "Yes, it is."

The blonde shepherdess then asked if Michelle had "taken the Echinacea supplements" herself or if someone had "given them to [her]".

"Someone else may have given them to me!" the wannabe glamour model enthused.

"Did he use a tool to give it to you or did he use his hands?" quizzed Shell.

"A tool," Michelle answered.

This was all too much for the first class graduate.

"SERIOUSLY?" she exploded.

"We're talking about Echinacea," Michelle added hastily, "But yeah..."

I think someone might be 100,000 richer.