Big Brother rebellion ruthlessly quashed

The housemates are once again speaking to one another and obedient after their silent rebellion was crushed, leaving two dead.

12:39 09 July 2004

The housemates are once again speaking to one another and obedient after their silent rebellion was crushed, leaving two dead.

Annoyed at failing the spelling task with a non-English speaker in their midst, the housemates decided they would not say a word for a whole day.

Big Brother reacted by piping loud annoying sounds into the house, which drove Ahmed to behead the life-size he-she statue that is Maureen.

But still the housemates would not speak.

Big Brother responded in kind - and when first Victor and then Michelle came to the Diary Room there was nothing but silence greeting them.

Big Brother then stepped up its attempts to shock them out of their silence. It called all housemates to the sofas and turned on the plasma screen.

"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Michelle, before realising she had spoken and clapping her hand over her mouth.

The contestants looked on as a highly recognisable cowboy hat, sitting on a lawn, was set alight. Stu ran out to the garden, but saw nothing, then watched in horror as the hat was reduced to ashes.

Stu retired to the pamper room to cry.

Michele - highly unimpressed at the treatment of her "chicken" - rounded on Big Brother.

"It's not just the hat," she told the all-seeing one, "it's the fact that, like, that was Jonny Horizontal burning there....just vanishing."

The death of Jonny Horizontal adds the comedy cowboy to Maureen on the list of casualties.

Michelle added: "Just don't burn any more cowboy hats if that would be possible ...you know who I'm talking about....whatever he's called... Sammy Standby.. don't burn Sammy Standby...burn something of mine."

She then stared right into the lens of the Diary Room camera and yelled.

"Don't burn anymore cowboy hats or you'll have me to answer to!"

Finally the housemates cracked. Waving a white flag they came into the Diary Room and explained that they were prepared to call a truce.

They were met with silence.

This was a step too far from the house authority figure and the embattled contestants proceeded to remove the camera from the Diary Room and take it into the garden.

"Get some straw," Michelle ordered, as she piled this around the bottom of the camera and the housemates went to find matches.

Big Brother snapped.

"Formal warnings will be now be issued," a voice boomed, adding: "If equipment is not returned immediately, or any further rule-breaking occurs, all housemates will be punished regardless of their involvement."

Dan, Stu, Shell and Michelle were all given a formal warning - with Big Brother cautioning ringleader Michelle that this was her "first and final warning", adding that if she breaks any more rules she will be evicted.