Big Brother, according to Eugene

Eugene has finally cottoned on to the Big Brother ethos by declaring all contestants to be either "irritating" or just plain "weirdoes".

13:15 26 July 2005

Eugene has finally cottoned on to the Big Brother ethos by declaring all contestants to be either "irritating" or just plain "weirdoes".

The nerdy engineer has bored the house to death with his inane trivia knowledge since he burst on to the scene in such unspectacular fashion but his latest outburst gives hope to those who have loyally insisted he does possess a single brain cell.

The outburst came after a late night bitching session with posh Tory Derek ended in Eugene abusing pretty much all, and presumably himself included, who have ever appeared on the ghastly yet hugely popular show that is Big Brother.

"They've looked for people who have a short attention span or who are quite jumpy," Eugene accurately observed.

"They need contestants who aren't not going to speak and who are also quite irritating and highly strung

"Then they throw in a couple of weirdoes like me."

Not content there, Eugene noted that Derek got on the show because he has "got all that toffee-nosed political crap" but is also straight-talking.

It may have taken him five and a half more series than the rest of the country to realise this fact about BB housemates, but credit to Eugene for his belated awakening.